Here’s a question: is CTE from playing FOOTBAW going to be an electoral asset, or a liability? On the former side, you can always attribute any particularly stupid thing you say to the CTE; on the latter, you still say stupid shit.

Is your cousin white trash?

Brazil is a badly written airport bookstore thriller.

...and has been universally shunned by the gatekeepers of country music.

This is a dangerous place.

(Living in California most of my adult life and Northern Virginia for the remainder, I have known multiple Drs. Tran. I have no idea how I’ve resisted the urge to ask any of them if they’ve recently administered a hot dicking.)

Hot dickings! Getcher hot dickings!

You forgot to add “, have other people’s tax dollars poured into,” after that last “play.”

The fact that the NFL has made itself into a weekly orgy of vaguely fashy American nationalism can only hurt the popularity of the sport outside the US.

It’d be his mom’s dad who determines that.

Is this to conceal male pattern baldness? 'cuz this sure looks like it's meant to conceal male pattern baldness.

This is why I don't go west of the 710

MFIC 4EVA

Those tattoos are extremely terrible but almost certainly better than what any young white man from French Lick would have today.

DUHVELAPAHS!

I like to pretend that Yinzers don't exist.

Nope, still nawt as bay-ud as Bollimer

I went to college with a grip of Lawnguylanders, and as bad as they can be, it still ain’t shit compared to Baw’mer.

Did you mention the accent? Philadelphia and Baltimore have the two most obnoxious regional accents in the country. Tawmmy from Quinzee sounds like fucking David Attenborough compared to most Baltimore residents, both black and white.

Hey Jacob Emrani, now’s the time to put up that #HornyForHoward billboard on the 60 Freeway next to the Puente Hills landfill