If ever there were a dude who had his sweat glands disabled through advanced medicine, it'd be him.

Who says it needs to be federal? Letitia James could get herself into the Senate for life if she unseals an indictment right after the inauguration.

I like the way you think.

Shell casings, gas masks, portable fuel tanks, field radios, an A-10 Warthog...

As opposed to the non-apology, which customarily is done into the camera of a smartphone on a magnetic dashboard mount while the non-apologizer is driving around wearing knockoff Aviators or Frogskins.

HERE I AM!

One can make a smoking implement out of many, many pieces of military hardware, it’s true.

Hey, I had a professor named Dowell. Myers, specifically. He’s that guy at USC’s public policy school who gets an op-ed in a big-city newspaper every six months or so, warning Baby Boomers that nobody’s going to be around to buy their houses if immigration dries up.

God, I can’t wait for the inevitable “BENEDICT DARNOLD” cover on the NYP

Dipshit couldn’t even get the first-day-of-B-school quote right. It’s “culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

I think what scares him the most is the possibility that he will be arrested on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews when he gets off of Marine One. Any judge in the country would remand him to custody (has extensive assets overseas, owns aircraft, and—oh yeah—would interfere rampantly with the trial via social media if…

Guy should endorse Ramses condoms. "Nothing gets through Ramsey...or Ramses."

Seriously missed opportunity for a Sherwin Williams endorsement

Did you have to bring Noel Gallagher into this?

+9 inches of Neal Schon’s dong

I think that was more in the interest of bailing out Northern bankers than anything else. The banking sector in New York was neck-deep in loans extended to plantation owners.

The people most invested in white supremacy are the ones who have nothing else to feel good about in their lives.

Irvine is overwhelmingly majority Asian at this point. HB...OK, yeah, you’ve got a point there. Any place that keeps electing that braindead shitfuck Travis Allen to the Assembly is gonna be pretty racist.