I think one of my favorite realizations has been the acceptance that everyone was once young, and young people have always been drunken horny idiots. I kind of eagerly await the day when i'm yelling at kids to stop hoverboarding around the library whilst simultaneously remembering that they don't even know how crazy…

I don't write nothing down, GJI, so I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak, you're outta' control. And you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.

At this rate she won't even get into Vassar…

You Choo-Choo-Choose me?

I also had a train obsession, especially with those really detailed layouts and Lionel trains. My dad got me a few magazines that had articles about people making incredibly detailed replicas of track sections, and I secretly still wouldn't mind working on one. As long as I don't end up like Bobby Baccala…

No offense Mr. Deltoid, but your half assed under-parenting was a lot better than you half assed over-parenting.

*Han Solo shoots Neil deGrasse Tyson dead in a seedy cantina*

One of the first YouTube videos I remember watching was a smash cut of The Singles Ward, a Mormom comedy by a pair of fairly normal Mormons (Normons?). My roommate at the time, who was Mormom, ended up having a DVD of the original film which we watched together. I know they tend to get a lot of grief over the magic…

Sometimes I feel like the directors are deliberately messing with the viewership. Maggie's legs were dangling like zombie mozzarella sticks for how long? Yet Deanna trips near a zombie and suffers that strange affliction of 'being-bit-by-a-zombie-but-not-screaming-in-pain-or-noticing-it'? Morgan was essentially the…

The ridiculous vitriol of this comment in relation to an online television review is just such a perfect representation of Bad Internet. Bravo.

"Rick gets results, you stupid chief!"

The stupid baby looked at you?

I'm quite afraid it will.

Finished the rest of Jessica Jones, which was amazing. I'm not really a superhero person, but it drew me in and I'm eagerly awaiting a second season.

Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.

I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good!

Tim Couch will be the start of a new era of competent Cleveland Browns football.

I know it's Thanksgiving, people have depleted their bourbon reserves and are already starting in on the nog reserves…but endorsing the Cleveland Browns outside of a Johnny Manziel 4Loko commercial is a bridge too far.

Chicken salad, on rye…un-toasted, with a side of potato salad…and a cup of tea!

Ralphie and The Old Man's obsession with the turkey in A Christmas Story, especially Ralphie's tragic description of all the turkey dishes he won't be able to enjoy after the dogs eat it. Gone, all gone!