If Abrams doesn't Rastafy him by 10%, I may just be done with these Star Wars…

DENTAL PLAN.

The New York Mets are one win away from the World Series. Years of futility are finally paying off.

This is lame compared to everyone else, but, staying in a long-distance relationship for two years longer than was necessary, and the financial consequences of that decision. When I think of how I could have invested the money spent on two years worth of plane tickets and destination vacations…especially considering…

Gahhhh, I don't want to look like a weirdo! I'll wear the mumu.

Go away, 'batin'!

With regards to the first letter, I find it baffling that people can enter into a bond as close as marriage, yet attempt to ignore something a string as sexual desire, with or without your partner. Like, how can you be married to someone and just ignore that whole, 'I still like to fuck' question without saying or…

"He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling…"

How can you say that when Ayatollah Razmani and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating power?!

That actually seems like a reasonable explanation, especially if a guy like Palpatine has a vested interest in remaining one of the only Force users. Fifteen years of propaganda coupled with not actually seeing someone use it could probably convince someone that the Force was just something made up by the old Jedi.

Now this is Firstie-ing!

Come, A.V. Club family. Sit in the snow and let us bask in the internet's warm glowing warming glow…

Look at them sideburns, they look like girls! Now, Johnny Unitas, there's a Wikipedia entry you can set your watch to.

"Don't you think there is an inherent danger in exposing internet commenters to the medium of film?"

Oh my God, I was wrong!/It was Earth, all along!

"Matt, it's Mac Parker! Ever heard of Planet of the Apes?"

Wasn't he one of The Little Rascals?

We had to bomb the Ewok village to save it.

*Emily Stephens pulls pin on grenade, hurls it into comments section*

Does it still count as a taco if it is just taco elements stuffed into a lobster?