Now you see , William, in my day we didn't eat a quail for Boxing Day. We would eat a pheasant, which we called a walking bird. Then we would gather around and listen to the football match, which in those days was the cricket match…

There is a consignment store here in Seattle that is filled with this stuff, at what seems like ridiculous prices. It provides my own little hipster version of window shopping. My only consolation is thinking that, in a decade or so, consignment stores will be filled with IKEA furniture for people aspiring to live the…

Only the dead have seen the end of Star Wars.

I identified as Sith on my application to Jedi University. Gotta do what you gotta do to get a quality education these days…

Old people don't need the internet. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Look out Itchy TLC, he's Irish!

Apropos of nothing, the video for No Scrubs is probably the zenith of music videos taking place in brightly lit tubes, building off of every song produced by Puffy from 1997-1999.

I'm not sure he remembered the lyrics? A scrub is pretty clearly defined as a "Guy who thinks he's fly but is also known as a busta," and, "Always talking about what he wants but just sits on his broke ass."

Yes, and it was horrible. Horrible enough to undermine all arguments against "No Scrubs" for eternity.

I can tolerate a lot of bad behavior from you, Internet, but I will NOT tolerate you sullying the legacy of Lee Marvin…

*Lights Cuban cigar with flaming $100 bill*

He want to kill me so bad he can taste it! Dathomir! Dathomir! Dathomir, man! Dathomir! Dathomir! Remember Dathomir?!

These war profiteers make me sick. I got buddies who died face down in the snow at Hoth so you could buy these toys. I didn't become a Stormtrooper for this, man!

Anyone else in the PNW is welcome to join me in clucking our tongues, stroking our beards, and wondering, "What's to be done about these pumpkin spice latte drinking fellows?"…all while secretly trying to figure out just what in the hell 'cold press coffee' is.

Flagged for lack of Staind.

Am I correct in assuming that the still of Anakin getting ready to behead all of those Younglings is captioned with "Passers by were amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood"?

Nuke Vine.

It's strange the way in which we compartmentalize pop culture. I distinctly remember 9/11-hell, I was growing up in Brooklyn at the time-and I also remember the rise of 'stoner Cartoon Network', in addition to the Family Guy renaissance, and yet I can't remember a time in which they overlapped. Almost every pop…

Seeing Boomers decend into 'I'm still finding self-discovery!' lame-ass movies is just incredibly depressing. Why, Redford, why?

The third week includes a discussion with AFL-CIO Chairman George Meany and a performance by Ravi Shanker!…er, Shankar.