You should order Chinese. That’s what the lawyers on TV always do in these situations. Eat it straight out of the carton.

Tried to dissolve a body in it?

Of course we are.

“What do you mean it’s upside down? It looks fine to me. MAYBE YOU’RE UPSIDE DOWN!! DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT??”

I don’t believe for a second he isn’t a drinker.

I enjoy seeing how much he has aged these last few weeks. Of course, I am doing my best not to age myself....

It probably doesn’t help you then that the media seems to mostly use deeply unflattering photos of 45. But that small rebellion by our nation’s photojournalists gives me just a wee bit of joy every time.

My dear old Gran’ma once told me “Stir biscuits as if each stroke takes a year off your life.” And damn if it doesn’t work.

hi everyone, a few weeks ago i linked an article highlighting upcoming elections that could help swing things towards the dems. I’m happy to bring you the result of one election in Delaware, A WIN BABY! Plus, the articles mentions how people are becoming more engaged at the local level. So keep doing what you’re…

You shouldn’t even respond to men who ask. Any guy who doesn’t open by trying to strike up a conversation about something that he read in your profile isn’t worth your time in all likelihood.

Throw this little wrinkly sack of shit in jail. Nobody wants your traitorous ass in the government, you piece of scum.

I chuckled...have a star.

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.

My husband’s ex-wife was notorious for tripping and falling onto penises. SHe did it a LOT.

Gross, really? Well to each her own.

So your employer cuts your salary by 25% due to “the market”, and if you say anything about it it’s you that needs to “take responsibility for himself and his own actions/decisions”.

I’ve never found Kimmel to be funny or amusing in the slightest.

dude.

They call the show “Hollywood Medium” because it’s not well done.