Eli’s just upset these messages were intercepted, but really he shouldn’t be surprised.

This is the same shit Peyton did when he tried to sell his worn uniforms.

“I think we can agree he brings a certain amount of disorder”

It takes balls to announce this. When I left my job to become a TV guy, I spent the first year “looking for employment.”

The NFL is currently looking around the Detroit Lions parking lot for his replacement.

dating in New York as a 30-something executive in private equity

That was a *really* interesting story about watching a football game and then vaping. Remind me to tell him the humdinger about the time my wife overcooked dinner and we had to order pizza. Or the raunchy, saucy tale about the time I washed my car shirtless and got a little sunburned.

“there’s a line of thinking that people want video to complement their reading experience”

There’s also a line of thinking that a great many people who read sports news during the day are doing so from their cubicle and can’t exactly just watch videos and gifs all day.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?

I remember when Liverpool fired Rafa Benitez (a decision I supported at the time) and replaced him with Roy Hodgson (whom I did not support).

So what you’re saying is that you want guns all registered, and all gun owners required to have insurance against anything they do wrong with their guns? All gun owners need to be licensed and if they fail their licensing, they can have their access to all guns revoked. Police should be able to look up your gun by…

Suck my dick, motherfucker

I don’t see a lot of domestic violence cases where men ram their cars into buildings to try to get back at their wife. Hmmm

Not to mention I had to take classes and get certification to become licensed to drive a car, have to get regular inspections on said car, and pay fees to keep the car registered and legal... or, in other words, cars are “well regulated.”

Guns are made to kill.

And soon you’ll have the NRA types trying to make excuses for the fact that a gun was used, once again, to kill at an elementary school: in this case to murder two people and enabled a third to commit suicide instantaneously.

To all future murder-suicide types. Please start with the suicide, then when you are good and dead, try to kill someone. I PROMISE you won’t be able to tell the difference. 100% guarantee.

Ken, this is the best series of posts on Jalopnik to date. Better than the E30 Mexico rally car, better than the low mileage journey by Torch and whoever. These three posts that you’ve done are the best. Please, please keep it up.