Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton

She's trying to open you up. Are you comfortable (or giving off signs that you're not comfortable) talking to this person? If you're not, you're not going to get much of anywhere. If therapy is going right, you should be doing most of the talking unprompted (with Mr. or Ms. Therapist occasionally interjecting to…

I remember the first time I felt old getting off a dizzy ride (I was 26). That shit fucks me up all day long now. My brain gets pasted to the side of my head. Good riddance. Still love roller coasters/big drop rides though.

I would like to think Millenials are achieving a higher level of Zen enlightenment that is not as beholden to earthly pleasures, but nah. They're probably just masturbating enough that they're ok with not fucking all the time.

I'm holding out hope that they'll pick up right where they left off with her when Emma returns from injury. That's the feud I want them to build the new Smackdown women's title around, if they ever make one.

|She needs to start beating the hell out of Lass Kicking everyone else in the division

It's never too early in the year to have a bout of that seasonal affective disorder. Stay strong.

Exercise thread

They can't close their eyes and make it go away.

Any man who clicks on a GJI article will be cut into 400 pieces. Those pieces will be trampled on until they can only be used to paint walls. Any man who creates one new gimmick account, more than his share, will be imprisoned for 1,000 years.

Harsh, but fair.

How about that game show on Sliders that was like a mix of American Gladiators and Jeopardy? That was weird.

The whole game comes down to who finds the Snitch. SO WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER DOING ANYTHING ELSE IN THE GAME? The whole game should be 25 morons zipping about on brooms looking for a tiny ball, which is still stupid.

Speaking of New Order, where's this week's Binge And Purge column, JOSH MODELL? I was promised a certain degree of New Order fanboying. I worked hard on these N-O lists.

When I listen to Steely Dan, I always feel like they're talking shit about someone who I don't know and don't care about.

Let me introduce you to a fellow by the name of Mark E. Smith.

Guy: 90s music sucked!
Same guy: Counting Crows were good though
Rest of people: Nope

I blame the kid empowerment trend of the 90s on Home Alone. I rewatched the first two recently and they are remarkably ugly, unpleasant movies with almost zero wit or charm to any of their character portrayals.

That's too much, man.

Different story. Also, SPOILER folks.