You're in Ohio, right? Well, these people voted for Kasich, a known Deadhead, who has prolly done more psychotropic substances than Obama knows to exist, but, eh, Johnny Boy — HEG WHIGTE. (Translation: the Gentleman from Columbus is Caucasian.)

Join the club.

With or without the original Brett dong shots?

Will Smith to do the soundtrack?

Staudinger wants to rock n' roll (on her Hoveround) all nite, & potty (in her Depends) every day.

Protestants!?

Thank you. Though, I must admit, at 16, 17, when I was made aware of the Legends of Peanut-Butter Girl & Popsicle Girl*, I believed them. I couldn't see how or why somebody would make that up.

Is this your homework?

Everybody poops, true. Likewise, everybody pees. We must not forget the pee.

Among other rumours circulated by Alyse's "friends": she was her high-school's peanut-butter girl, & she fancied the erotic possibilities of frozen dessert treats.

This comment should not be glossed over.

Will Leitch: [comes]

That brunch quaff, the something something Mary or something, that's supposed to be a metaphor.

Somehow, ESPN needs to stop time.

Didn't know Uwe was so old.

Andres Cantor better step up his game.

I see Kuselias has been taking notes from Wisconsin State Senator Randy Hopper (R-Fond du Love outside of Marriage).

Kopacsi only takes his clothes off because the George Mason band director compels it.

Pearl fired?

The cardboard could not be both house & dance-floor.