Publix fried chicken is laced with heroin. It must be.

A Destiny article with no hilariously quippy lead in sentence? I am disappoint Jason.

I choose to believe the publishing of this article was pre-destined, as my wife asked me to clean the holy throne this very morn.

I've always wanted a Japanese Peace Lilly...

You can't fix stupid... But you can sell it.

Out...outside? Like, with real people? Why I never...

/rings bell

It figures that someone bragging on being a big dick hetero BRO-BOWLER has trouble with pussy.

My Maine Coon checks in at about 25lbs, and is the biggest lounge cat I've ever seen. I call him Snorlax sometimes because he'll randomly flop down and nap for hours before waking for snacks. Love that cat so much.

Yes! I will forever advocate for the adoption of black cats and adult cats. They are the sweetest, calmest, and most fun cats I've ever had.

Having owned 5-6 cats over a 20+ year period, I can unequivocally state that the perfect amount of money to spend on cat toys is ZERO DOLLARS.

Sorry dude, those are called Wizards now.

/30 Rock'd

"...This is the hug pillow of their dreams."

BRB, making a Tales playlist.

Ben Roethlispurrger?

Stuart Scott is the voice of so many of my sports memories. He just brought this life and boundless enthusiasm that made watching the highlights and stories as much fun as the games themselves.

Reticulating > Ticulating

I... I really really wanted to continue playing this game after the level cap. I tried, but after a few hours of grinding, my first drop with Light was only +5 , and when I leveled it, it became... *drum roll* a +6. Didn't even move the meter.

Gulden Draak forever and ever.