I’ve read this story three times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck is going on. I’m just going to assume that all three of these people are probably assholes.

What, like it’s hard?

as you typed this, somewhere in the bronx a man roused from his slumber to whisper, softly: “yeah jeets”

All you need to know about cricket is that the first number in the score is the number of crickets killed in the battle and the second is the number of humans. So, like 235/7 might seem like a lopsided victory for the bipeds, but considered by mass the crickets are doing pretty well.

I’m assuming “no one” means that whoever was on at 0:43 in the first video is some sort of cyborg or something because holy shit.

some asshole with a title like “content and community manager” googles “quotes by famous women” and then this happens

When I asked my wife to marry me I said, “will you be one of my most important assets?” Who could resist such romance?

“shrill and bossy.”

That does seem like the logical person’s microphone to grab when one is struck by an impromptu urge to address the public.

Gonna be pedantic, because I just can’t help it, and because shit like this tickles me. That wasn’t just “someone” Buzz took the mic from; that’s Mike Sparrer, the VT public address announcer. We went to Tech together, and he’s a friend of mine. I love being able to say “hey, I know that guy!”

More like Buzzkill Williams, amiright?!

I watched most of the men’s 50K, where it looked like a tight race between four guys for bronze was shaping up,

I have a coworker who says, “you know what I mean” almost EVERY sentence and once I sat stupefied as she used the term TWICE in the SAME sentence.

I have a colleague who says “again” at the start of every sentence and it is even more annoying than the ubiquitous “so........” that has permeated language recently.

1) the snide way he says “women”

The “again” thing DRIVES ME CRAZY! He does have some decent insights but his delivery is horrible and I can’t argue that he’s terrible. But the incessant“again” thing alone should be enough to eliminate him from that job.

Again, that’s what a woman would comment.

Thoughts and prayers

Her going down the run reminded me of my 80 year old dad walking across an icy parking lot.

That’s crazy. The only piece of sports memorabilia I could imagine paying that much for would be the jersey Mark Sanchez wore during the Butt Fumble.