Wat

"Blarghbergblahgggoooblllubllubblerg" - Blue Ivy

The dress looks like those ghastly, tacky bride dresses you see on Say Yes to the Dress.

Whats going on down here?

parade?

How do you think this story would be played if it was about a woman who was a Hollywood actor marrying a man who was a London barrister? Either there wouldn't be a story at all because of course the woman is moving for the man, or, if the actress was the older of the couple as Clooney is in this relationship, gossip…

The house is an investment, the rest is spin.

Sometimes great editors are not great bosses, though.

"On a semi-related note, I was able to talk a manager at KFC into honoring an expired coupon for a free pot pie yesterday. So we're all big winners at life this week!"

Could not be laughing any harder if I tried right now.

The photoshopped penis is actually way less strange looking than the overly smoothed out Barbie pubis of the lady one... Wouldn't Eve have had a pretty sweet bush?

Well, after all the photoshop these picture go thought they might as well be digital paintings.

She was definitely getting it lasered off to accommodate whatever jewelry Jay & Solange were purchasing yesterday. Of course she had to orchestrate the tiff between the two in order to get said jewelry, but since she's Illuminati it wasn't that much of a challenge.

That's a lot of terrible things but I'm not sure I'd classify it as attempted robbery.

This is starting to make me wonder if Jay Z and Solange had some kind of 'not just friendly' thing at some point. Just a random madcap theory that is probably very, very wrong, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Yeah, I don't think this is commentary on forcing yourself to be attracted to someone who you're not attracted to. It's about letting societal pressure bully you out of being attracted to someone who you ARE attracted to.

Louie hit this one on the head. I've dated a lot of heavier girls and I've definitely felt the judgement from other men. The problem isn't that men don't like big girls; it's that men don't like the way other men look at them when they're with big girls. It's a societal issue that Louis illustrates flawlessly. It's…

As mush as we all want the girls back, they just cannot agree to release the prisoners for the young girls. It would just encourage similar acts.

On a completely unrelated note. I love when they make the family dog in movies like this a Rottweiler or some other formerly demonized dog breed.

Not too psyched about putting the idea out there of shooting a dog with a paintball gun, but people who own paintball guns wont be watching this movie. So no harm no foul!

Owns what? Being a sloppy drunk violent mess? I guess.