My hipster coffee expert wife considers their coffee tolerable. Mediocre, but not expensive, and much better than burned-to-shit Starbucks.

You know, I'm not sure. I think it might have had some, but it mostly tasted of milk and creamy, it certainly wasn't noticeably sweet.

How about Dead Presidents?

I loved that joke until I had actual unflavored ice cream from a dairy and it was delicious.

But why the hyphen?

That's deep, but never forget: "He who smelt it, dealt it."

When did we stop burning things in effigy? I could go for a good ol' effigy burn right about now.

It's okay, neither does Microsoft.

Yup. No one gives a shit about your wifi password, for example. Despite that, my parents insist on something like aW1!942x%%3m2 because security! Which they of course have to leave written down. 'fluffypillow' would be easier and more secure.

Smelling bad and sleeping on friends' couches is basically a perfect positive correlation.

A bunch of coworkers a few years ago left to go work at Twitter. I didn't because I didn't understand how it was a business. I'm glad now, because I think I'd throw up every time I had to go work with what it's evolved into.

On one hand, it'd be nice to see some realism in hollywood when someone Hacks The Computer. On the other hand, the reality of it doesn't involve computers 90% of the time so we'd never know that our plucky hero is Good At Computers.

Everybody's a jerk. You, me, that jerk over there. Jerks!

He's wrong about the horse.

Can we get rid of 'bad optics' too? 'looks bad' is perfectly understandable, sounds 100% less stupid, and is already shorter.

If I was a 42 year old rapper, I would love to be a 30 year old rapper!

Doot doooo doot doot doot?

Isn't that nice.

Eat A Damn Good Breakfast Everyday.

And the lazy, skip to the end posters win again!