Told after the game that he was being sent to AA, Borenstein said, “No, really, I was sober.”

They found themselves embracing passionately, by the rolling, illuminated waves of the deep blue LED, staring into each others eyes and... then returned to business, squashed by societal norms and the unspoken rules of the game.

I thought Scat Packs were a Mopar thing.

Jonah Muniz, Mabel Gondres, and Lorrie Pearson discuss their findings with local authorities.

Hitters. That’s who hates Rivera.

This may not be the best time to wish to be American.

Pontiac guy here to nitpick:

$1.30 a pound. You can’t even get deli bologna for that price. Oscar Meyer on sale maybe. Neither one will be this yellow either. NP because sandwich math.

He was good, friendly, affable, generous man. With a family. A small daughter. Who tortured and killed animals to entertain a mob.

What? Nobody on the internet made him climb into a circle and try to kill a fucking pissed off bull. If you want to grieve for his family, maybe he should have had them in mind when he decided try to slowly kill dangerous animals for a living. He died doing something dangerous and barbaric in a silly costume- that is…

“You know what I like.”

Why does Steph want to give Lebron the Run-A-Round? It seems like a sure fire way to speed things up, but all it does is slow him down.

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

The meeting seemed to be going well. Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, my colleague and I were tired.

Because everything is improved by a Stan Lee cameo:

More like Pfffttt Auto.

D.B. Pooper

NUMBER 7 WILL ABSOLUTELY SHOCK YOU

You hear “deuce” enough times in one day and you start to fall in line.

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you HOLY SHIT THE GROUND IS MOVING WHAT THE FUCK RUN