Everyone else was talking about eating pussy and I felt left out.

What kind of wack ass hetero normative shit is that. FOH.

Being a hoe gives you so much sexual wisdom tbh

I feel that way about my boyfriend when he comes back from a bike ride all sweaty, or when he’s been grilling and he smells like mesquite.

Is telling him I want to sit on his face til he suffocates too aggressive? yes? no? Maybe? I’m going for it.

EDIT: for those who seemed concerned, I am not actually going to suffocate or harm my buddy. Thank you.

... also yes with the head up the dress thing in that clothes still somewhat on is SUPER HOT.

Clearly these two things are related.

How do you feel about a quick trip up to Juneau. Pun intended.

As funny as you usually are, I don’t think we give you enough credit for being so wise.

There’s a ton of dudes like that. You just need to shop around. We all have Mommy issues that are incarnated in different ways. Unrelated: Are you a brunette who smokes?

- Find Mormons

Check.

You are honestly the most beautiful human.

The day I decided I would not have sex with any man who didn’t first make me cum with his mouth was the day I left sexual purgatory and was admitted to Elysian Fields.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

Well, since we can’t get a prosecution for most of the criminal stuff that happens to us, I’m not going to cry about this man being annoyed for 30 seconds of his day.

You may be right, but the cops won’t do a thing. I think what she did stands a better chance of making this guy think twice next time than telling the cops will.

My hope is that his wife sees it and he catches HELL for it.

The yelling is beyond what she should have done because it edges into harassment, which is illegal, but I think following and filming him is kind of an ideal response because it is legal. As you said.

I agree. After five years of not having cable and shamelessly binge watching some episodes I think Klhoe is the best of the bunch. She is the voice of reason most of the time and often brings her out of touch family back down to earth. Or she tries at least.

i believe her. khloe has always seemed fairly normal, and her relationship with lamar seemed real enough, though it ended sadly.