How about when you and another person are in a public bathroom and it’s dead silent and you try to pee but can’t and the other person isn’t peeing either so you feel really uncomfortable and start making noise like rolling out 5 feet of toilet paper and opening and closing the tampon container?

Oddly, the high probability that I’ll have a panic attack randomly helps me keep them somewhat under control. I’m more conscious of my stress level and breathing and that makes it a bit easier to talk myself down.

Obama really needs to stop trying to be everyone’s friend. It was the thing that always annoyed me about him. The right wing nutjobs are never going to change.

I liked Chrissy’s tweet about how the boarding pass scanner is apparently just a beedoop machine that goes beedoop.

Sounds like he was feeling pretty crabby about the size of his meal.

Why would someone punch an overly-generous ATM? I would not punch that ATM. I would kiss it and give it all the love I could, treating it gently so it could keep on giving way too many moneys.

At least he didn’t get physical and resort to using his mussels.

Don’t be so shellfish.

Shucks, if I were him I’d be clamoring to sue!

The whole “Merry Christmas” debacle is a perfect illustration of how sociopolitical discourse has degenerated in the United States.

He's a former FDNY firefighter and 'rejoined' with no fanfare in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. Mensch.

how i

I worked with Buscemi-could not be more charming, and every woman on set adored him.

You inadvertently posted the polar opposite of Max Landis in giving us the gif (and the gift) of Hollywood's biggest mensch!

Max? Is that you?

"i don’t feel bad or superficial for saying that." Point, Ass-Hat.

Never has my vagina dried up quicker than after reading what this human hemorrhoid has to say. Seriously...I think I just felt a tumbleweed roll by down there.

Maybe, just maybe he should try dating an actual human woman instead of one of these:

"...publically and honestly, you stand to come off looking like an idiot."