To be fair, it was a lot easier for mediocre white kids to go to college back when college was affordable and, oh yeah, white people were the only ones allowed in.

 If anything they should support affirmative action since it’s their go-to excuse for not achieving greatness in a country that gives them so many advantages that a college educated black person earns about the same as a white highschool graduate.

Ok, can I somehow help him move the fuck out then!?

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of conservatism and issues in the military. That said, since the very first day I put on a uniform it was made abundantly clear that I was to treat people of other genders, races, ethnicities, and religions with dignity and respect, and if I couldn’t manage that, then I was the…

Have you watched it? They’re usually not that harsh (with a few exceptions, of course).

“...racist-Bratz doll husk Jeff Sessions...” nothing to add except this is killing me, I laughed loud and got a look.” Maybe add “found in a diaper genie” or something.

CORY BOOKER 2020:

the real question is who translated it from the original crayon drawing

“Think to yourself how often you’ve used condoms for oral.” Lots of sex workers do, apparently, and consequently sometimes report lower incidences of STIs than the general community.

Thanks. If god answers make sure she knows I want the bearded version of Paul Ryan

I’d fuck Jared Kushner any day of the week. The more stress-gaunt and dark-circled he gets, the more I want it. Evil Jared Kushner is my fetish apparently and it’s my horrible shame.

...I’d consider Martin Shkreli.

But NOT THIS DUDE unless he leaked confidential info & was a double agent all along then fine.

It was the notion of having my debt paid off. I guess we all have our price.

AND he can only do it to me while I’m in a doctor-administered Roophy coma and he can only insert his penis through a single hole in the vinyl covering my entire clothed body except for hole cut into back of my pants.

Me too! I’ve been roasted here for saying I’d hate-fuck the shit out of Paul Ryan, and especially Jared Kushner, that little slut, but this dude? No thanks! I finally met a sleazebag I’d say no to, and I usually love Italian guys. But not this little piggie.

Ha, I call that a stabbing.

Bang him with what?

These Bachelor peeps are weird. Does anyone else think it’s odd that Rachel has apparently made all the Bachelor roommates she had as bridesmaids instead of, oh I don’t know, people she was already friends with before going on reality TV?

If I’m going to a destination bachelorette party (which LOL never) I’m not going to NOT have fun because the bride-to-be missed a flight. I thought based on the headline they planned a B party with the intention of not having a bride, which felt SUPER shitty. But I paid for my damn ticket and made my flight so you…

I’d love it if while they all stood around for hours with a crew trying to get the “perfect” pictures the “Bachelorette” was just sitting at home in baggy clothing, watching trashy films, and eating junk food thereby having a much better time by default.

I like to imagine myself being Ryan Lizza. Like that call - how many of those are you going to get in your career? And you can’t be giddy or flabbergasted. You just have to hold it together somehow. That’s like journalist Christmas.