It is serious! I didn’t have insurance when I was the age to get the Gardasil and have (hopefully had!) HPV, which sucks a lot. I hate that some people are getting cancer because of shit like that. Or because their parents think that somehow medical care will make their precious snowflakes into slutty mcslutersons.…

I mean, right. He was basically making a joke, which I realize in retrospect wasn't clear at all.

Last night, my husband suggested that we make Gardasil our go to gift for baby showers. I'm not sure it's a logistically sound plan, but it reminds me why I love him so!

I thought Coco Rocha (who even is that?) was Debra Messing.

Armpit yeast infection sounds terrible! I’m glad it’s mostly better now.

My armpits are the opposite! I'm so much stinkier without the hair!

Ugh, why is there no orange heart emoji?

My mother and I were lucky enough to be front row at what ended up being her last SEC women’s basketball championship. It was so awesome. I remember her coming into the dining hall at UT once to plug a game and feeling in awe of this powerful woman. I'm sad today, for sure.

The thing is, when someone experiences suicidal ideology, there’s typically a relatively short period where a person is in active crisis. Once they’re through that, usually the urge to kill themselves subsides (at least until next time, assuming a chronic illness is the root). It’s why people who survive jumping off…

Fantastic. Those poor kids.

Oh, do you wish you wouldn’t have made a series of shitty, callous choices that led to your child’s completely predictable, tragic death? Hindsight and whatnot, I guess.

It is pretty small. Still, though, I wouldn't want to have to poke a gator with a pole, no matter its size.

Minimum wage? That's crazy even for jobs that don't include taunting an apex predator.

However much they’re paying that Splash Mountain employee, it's not enough.

I totally agree with you. I also think she wants to separate herself from her Modern Family character.

For some reason I figured I was younger than Bachelorette Jojo. Which, when I really think about it, makes no sense. I'm 28. No Bachelorette would be that close to 30.

That’s some “The Most Dangerous Game” bullshit right there.

I bet in Nebraska weedy and murky is nbd. I’m in TN, and people swim in some nasty, murky-ass lakes like it’s nothing. I don't think it's common in other places to be concerned about large predators in gross water.

It’s too bad, because pissing off bros is the best. Dude comics have no fucking idea what to do with funny women. I had a guy once tell me that basically he was pissed when he saw he had to share the bill with a female comic, but I was actually funny! And he’s so glad I didn’t just talk about my vagina for the whole…

Your giant, gilded dick.