Penises are inherently funny (as are farts) and anyone who disagrees deserves serious side eye. We sound a lot alike! Which makes me feel very secure in my intent to marry this boy. When the time is right and he wants to, of course.

Thank you! I'm ok now, but wtf? It was some surreal bullshit, that's for sure.

I definitely do not have a tendency to think terrible dudes are awesome. Well, maybe a little in my late teens/early twenties. But I'd been single for a long time because I have no time for nonsense! My friends were always telling me I should pump the brakes on political talk during the first couple dates, but I was…

This morning I saw my rapist (I think) at a restaurant. He motherfucking WAVED AT ME.

We met online, so our first "date" was with a group of people to ensure I didn't get murdered. The next night we went out alone and had a 7 hour date! That was 8 months ago and we're inseparable and I'm just... totally sure. I have no reservations. I thought maybe I was being nuts, but it sounds like I need to trust…

I think I'm a member of that camp too. I thought it was nuts, and then... 8 months in and I just know. I just told someone else on this thread that I'm trying to make sure I'm not just insane.

That's wonderful!

Let's talk love!

Jesus? Probably Jesus.

The best Halloween costume I ever did was Sexy Lunch Lady. I'll never be able to top it.

Totally! We're super happy and it's not a thing. Which doesn't help on particularly irrational days, but wevs.

Fellow fat lady dating a more fit dude! I've never had anyone make comments aloud about us (thank jeebus, because who knows how I'd react), but it's something I think about more than I care to admit. I have to be honest, sometimes when I'm feeling exceptionally down on myself, I wonder what other people think when…

Once, when I was a toddler in the checkout line at the grocery store with my parents, I suddenly, gleefully announce, "Mommy has a vulva!" My father, mortified, says to the cashier, "She means Volvo." My mother immediately corrects him, "No she doesn't! That's right, thegirlriots, I *do* have a vulva!"

I love Kristen Bell so much. I didn't know she was pregnant again! It's all very exciting.

This is the BEST. NEWS.

My man friend grew up with him. Said he was "the most awkward kid in Sunday school." Which I feel like is quite the feat for 1990's Oklahoma.

I've been in an amazing relationship for 7 months. I'm very much in love and it's been great. I can always be myself and he loves me as is. Having said that: I think I'm getting depressed. He obviously knows that's something I struggle with sometimes, but has never seen it. I'm so afraid that he's going to see it and…

I literally laughed out loud. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!

Uh, that's objectively funny. If laughing like a middle schooler at vaguely sexual words is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

Cartoon style! Going to the doctor would be way more fun if they injected it with some cartoon.