Happy belated birthday! Anyway, you'd think that fame would get you anything you wanted, but I can absolutely see how it could be incredibly alienating, too. I sincerely hope she's happy continuing to tour and record and perform, but there's something that tells me she'd kind of like to get off the train. But you…

On my way home from work the other day I was listening to a Ryan Seacrest thing with Britney where they were playing songs from her new album and she was talking about them. There's one called "Alien" about being kind of alone and an outsider. It suddenly hit me how terrible it must be to have everyone in the world…

Or this could be a list of the states with the most dudes who think they're hung and are buying the wrong size condoms. Which in my (admittedly anecdotal) experience, is a thing that happens.

Whenever I see her picture, I'm anyways surprised at what she looks like. I'm not sure what I'm expecting her to look like, but not like she does.

One day, my dad got to Costco as the samples were coming out. All the people were pushing their carts in a line down the aisle. My dad clapped like it was a parade.

Really? It's always the same people every time I'm there, though...

Based on the headline, I thought this was going to be some sort of technological sex toy. I'm pretty upset it's not.

1. Pablo Schreiber is actually pretty attractive without the weird mustache and gross character.

In college, my friends had this stupid game where if someone burped, everyone had to say a color and the last person had to make a sex noise. It was fun at first, but then I got sick of it. So one day I lost on purpose and then did my best When Harry Met Sally... thing.
And that's the story of how I shut down the…

Gawd he's attractive! fans self

I find the whole burial thing to be kind of weird and pointless to begin with, so I just have no frame of reference where that sort of reaction would be anywhere close to warranted.

Callous bitches unite!

Thanks. I know that's a bizarre question, but I keep seeing famous ladies in tiny pants and it got me wondering.

I... don't understand this grave business. I'm sure it's a symptom of my callous bitchdom, but getting upset that a sheep is standing on your grandmother's grave seems like a slight overreaction.
This is why I can't have nice things.

I'm a sign language interpreter and I've been on call this weekend. Been to the ER twice over the weekend. Anyway, the first visit was hands down the bloodiest medical appointment I've ever done. Seriously. So. Much. Blood.

Serious question: Is having a flat mons pubis like that normal? Am I a weirdo with a polterwang?

If pandas weren't so adorable, they'd be extinct. It seems like they actively don't want to survive!

I've been there to visit and it was pretty awesome. I live in TN right now, so it's not exactly like I'm in a liberal utopia to begin with. And I think I can handle some superiority. Just not racist assholes.

This is totally off topic, but reading this makes me think, "Am I making a horrible mistake applying to grad school in Lawrence?" Uggghhhh.

I am an atheist with a ghost in my house. Which is to say, I think we're totally fine.