[quietly reclicks on Shake it Off mashup]

For a while I thought it depressingly predictable that the following would happen:

Even better is that it's a manual retweet (with a crap addendum), designed to make it so people retweet HIM instead of the original source. KARMA, MOTHERFUCKER.

THIS, Richie. THIS is why you shouldn't be skipping your daily nap.

I've put on the occasional Everton game, kind of forgetting that Timmy would be in goal because Everton has become one of those teams that have no object permanence for me - they have no space in my memory unless I'm actually watching them play soccer. And each time, it seems, I've turned the game on, watched the…

You must be lots of fun at parties.

Yeah, I have literally no doubt that's the reason for all this. There's no way that A. FIFA would EVER, EVER leave money on the table (particularly since soccer as a televised sport is on the upswing in America), nor would it B. give a damn about fairness to other broadcasters.

She shrugs and goes, "what can you do?" at the end of the run. Fucking Canadians, man, God bless 'em.

Oh. My. God. Thank you so much.

"I'm so devastated, I don't go to homecoming. If I had, I would have seen her there with her date."

Yeah, you're an idiot. The reason nobody slowed down is because they couldn't see anything. So you think someone should have run out 300-500 yards back of the accident, in whiteout conditions, to warn people? Go to bed.

Like, I know you guys wouldn't just show a snuff film, and yet I spent that whole 1:52 thinking I was about to watch dozens of people die. That was gut-wrenching.

Even better, they should have run the 300-plus yards toward oncoming traffic, in whiteout conditions, because that's when those vehicles would have had to stop. What an idiot.

Oh man, I just looked at the route you're talking about. Now I can't wait to try it.

Ooooh, I should try that. Thanks for the tip.

No joke. The 24S exit off of 93S gives me white knuckles every time I go past it, and that's pretty much every day. It's basically Thunderdome.

OK, I'm mostly with you there (I think we can put some of the blame for enlarged salaries (compared to other athletes, not compared to you and me) on players who think they deserve them). That said, what exactly is wrong with tweeting those things and laughing at everyone involved? What you pointed out, that there's…

So wait, in a post designed to show how shitty "sports reporters" are, you used as your evidence tweets* from:

I get that virtual Chris Benoit is no murderer. He's just a bunch of polygons pretending to pretend to fight. I also get that the real Chris Benoit is a part of WWE history, one that even WWE can't excise and that clearly some fans don't want to forget.

I'm just kind of amazed Haisley didn't turn this into a 7,000 word opus about Ramsey and tactics and Arsenal and Turkey and kicking and ball flight. Only five words? Should we be checking on you?