♪♪ California here we come, right back where we started from ♪♪
♪♪ CALIFORNIIIAAAAAA, CALIFORNIIIAAAAAA ♪♪

Meanwhile in SoCal, 2am drunk driving is practically a time honored tradition!

Now watch as I make this jug disappear!

You couldn't just go to a different Costco?

Anybody who just sits on an escalator and "rides" it can go fuck themselves. Likewise with moving pathways.

This is why I need to hire an unpaid intern to workshop my comments with.

I like the scene where he steals that guy's truck by pretending to be sick.

He's actually neither.

[polishes off Mannequin 3 script]

You're in the theater, and Aquaman seems like it's about to end and you're like "Oh boy, finally, almost time to go home!" But then the opening credits for Aquaman II: The Search for Curly's Gold start playing.

Nothing could possib-lie go wrong.

Ow, my brains.

They basically learned the exact wrong lesson from Spider-Man 3.

Well, they bought MGM after they went bankrupt, so they absorbed the Bond franchise. I'm not sure how closely Sony is managing the new MGM, or if MGM as it exists now is just a name only, or what.

Did anybody see that interview that Wavves gave where he trashed Warner Bros. Records for being disorganized and directionless?

This is the movie studio equivalent of that scene in Austin Powers where he's dealt a five and decides to stay.

Fanny packs are making a comeback, and when they do, Beanie Babies will be next.

Aside from the Jump Street movies, do they have any successful franchises? Or any successful movies?

Sad!

I interviewed last year to join their Crackle team. I ended up turning them down to go work somewhere else.