That’s a plunkin’

See, you just got your dumpster fires confused. That’s CLEARLY FedEx Field.

House GOP: [elects Matt Williams Speaker]

These highlight reels for Rodgers make me completely happy. Aside from my girlfriend, I don’t think one human has ever given me so much joy on such a consistent basis.

Guys...

He blocked me on Twitter after I told him what a nice time I had at his bankruptcy sale at his old home. Sometimes I wonder if I took that too far.

Even with the Pope’s blessing, the Eagles are still only a 6-10 team.

You’re wayyyy too low. You need to add 1 for each person who worked at 38 Studios that got shit-canned.

Yea, I mean, the Native Americans “manned-up” and things seemed to have turned out great for them....

Ya, pretty damn wrong to suggest that this layered, multi-dimensional issue can be solved with grabbing your gun and pistol whipping the powers that be.

Fuck you, ESPN. Seriously.

What’s the over/under on how many Thanksgivings Curt has ruined? He’s 48, so I’m going to put it at 20.

“Curt, you’re too racist to broadcast during the regular season when the only people watching are fantasy baseball nerds, so we’re suspending you until the playoffs, when everybody starts paying attention.” - ESPN management

It looks like Curt Schilling was right. His timeline is proof that an ape doesn’t evolve.

You’re the Cleveland Browns of Deadspin commenting

Now that I see it in action, I’m on board with Trump building a wall to separate the rest of us from the Browns.

“Smithers? Begin the thawing of Davey Johnson.”

Don’t forget the NRA! They work mostly to ensure that gun manufacturers make a profit... So it’s also good for them to rile up the base with this “only a good guy with a gun...” nonsense. Sometimes I doubt they even believe it.

Ban all guns. Make them illegal to posses. Getting caught with one is an automatic jail sentence. This nonsense has gone on for too long. This amendment was authored by people who were okay with slavery. It does not, and should not, translate to 2015 America