Crap I didn’t realize we were having a meeting. Be right there guys.

David is one of my favorite Jalopnik authors going. Why? Because I identify with his willingness to be wrong, dumb and downright hilarious when all are unintended.

Doing the brakes on my manual-trans ‘98 Forester S. Fronts go fine, get to the left rear. Wheel off, caliper off, rotor screws off. Go to pull off the rotor - nothing, seized to the hub. Grab trusty rubber mallet, apply a little force, nothing. Hit harder. And harder still. Standing in my building’s parking lot,…

What compelling, marketable quality do their products have for an American audience?

Nobel Peace Prize in Economics?

Just took this today in Metro Detroit

“Acceleration faster than Formula 1. 200 KPH/125 MPH in 5.5 seconds.”

That’s a lot of innuendo for a short caption.

Reminds me of this...

Some pronounce it “myocardial infarction” while others insist it’s pronounced “we reformed RUSADA!”

Bells and whistles? You can buy bells as well as whistles at the general store, comrade.

Comfort is Russian.

It also helps to have a gauge cluster like this:

Good lord I’ll never understand the metric system. :(

I’m laughing so hard at that and I don’t know why, it’s just perfect

Jalopnik would be a poorer place without the Beatnik Jason Jasonovich Torchinsky and his entertaining analysis of Soviet innovateniks.

“...time at the dispensaries...”

The Aardvark XLE is nice enough but I honestly prefer the two tone tapir upholstery, chinchilla headliner, and walrus baculum shifter you get stepping up to the XXLE.

Using all my years of experience as a professional race car driver, great situational awareness and cat like reflexes dumb fucking luck I went for a small gap that opened up in front of me and managed to squeeze through without getting punted by the rest of the guys.

I still 100% sold on the pair of sub-subroofs with built-in vinyl blinds. Seriously, I want this so bad and to drive across the US.