So in other words, it's design is the antithesis of Zip Lash. Good thing, because now I won't feel as bad making my first trade-in in a long time.

I just want another Zelda II.

I got a 2 once on the wheel and immediately knew what it meant. It was so demoralizing that I'm not sure that I can just go back, which is a shame because I was sold immediately on the cord-based action.

And remember: Never let a bitch steal your skull.

Ground Zeroes is really good in retrospect. I heard that Camp Omega is a map for Metal Gear Online, which only makes me wish more that it was a map in Garry's Mod too.

Speaking of being like Assassin's Creed, I saw this article that claimed the Phantom Pain is actually an Animal Crossing game in disguise. I don't remember the particulars, but it's wrong. It's actually a Zelda game.

I really like Kiefer Sutherland's performance here, which is why it's especially heartbreaking that Kojima decided that long cutscenes were passe at the same time he cast him, denying us all 5-hour-long soliloquies by him on the futility of human existence or whatever.

Since this game is basically a lock for a series, it makes me wonder what the next console will be like since it's also heavily dependent on the GamePad.

As a rule of thumb, you should treat everything I say as a joke.

The message this sends is that Shenmue, a Dreamcast/Xbox game, is a much bigger deal than Castlevania ever was.

My favorite moment was when Killer Instinct became available for my home only on Nintendo Ultra 64.

Reggie hawked it in Nintendo's E3 announcement, even if tongue-in-cheek. Who's thinking it'll be involved in one of the "surprises" he's been talking up the last few days?

It's a reference to that article on that one site saying that the complete lack of people of color in the game is an attack on them, despite them not belonging in its world.

So what's the AV Club's stance on the hostility toward people of color?

My mom was watching me play the single player game and I found stickers of Octoroks from Zelda 1 and 2. I asked if she remembers what they were (my older brother played those games back then) and she asks, "Is that Betty Boop?"

Whatever caused the extinction of humankind must have been pretty kind to the artifacts of their civilization, if the scrolls emulating human artwork like Paradise Lost and the Voyager golden record are anything to go by.

I can't wait for the paintbrush to come out so we can witness embarrassing melee duels between people who can't use it right.

I had my mother play the final testfire and while she struggled with the controls the entire time, even she was able to see the game's appeal. The only thing that gave me pause was when she asked me if she could play as a white squid.

If the Atari 2600 era of graphics can get throwbacks these days, anything is possible.

What is the difference between hyperviolence and ultraviolence?