We celebrate both holidays fully, but we also pick a day between for Chranukkah. (Pronounced Chonic-ah). It’s a day for misbehaving, and I aim to misbehave.

When dealing with older conservative relatives, I’ve found that all you have to do is tell them their cable/internet bill will go up. They’re already enraged by the price they pay to watch NCIS and this is salt in the wound.

Shouldn’t the FAA have rules against throwing any kind of shit out of airplanes? If someone can throw a live turkey, can they throw a frozen one?

I’d be curious if ginger, dramamine, etc would help.

Everyone has their talent, I suppose. Public toilets are a special kind of hell. First I wrap the flush sensor with toilet paper so it can’t flush while in use. Then I use a fist full of toilet paper to scrub down the toilet. Sometimes the floor in front of the toilet too.

Have a solid stance because that dog is going to jump into you. And if you get knocked down, that dog is going to hump you.

Could endorphin release also be a reason for picking? Same basic idea as cutting but 1/1,000,000,000th the scale?

Hey dawg, I heard you like diabetes, so I put some diabetes in your diabetes.

SmarterEveryDay had a video about poop splash. In the end, laying a sheet or two of paper on the surface of the water prevents splash. (Confirmed)

“She also noted that none of the black children who came in trick-or-treating acted rambunctious or disrespectful in any way.” It’s depressing as hell that she had to say this this because she knows the kids will be personally attacked and slandered.

“You could even jerk yourself off in front of people, if you wanted. After this was brought to Valve’s attention, the game was temporarily yanked from Steam”

He fell into a black hole. That’s spaghettification.

You’ll know if your kid was slipped an edible if an hour later all their candy is gone, as well as their sibling’s candy, all the boxes of cereal, and a block of muenster cheese. You can double check your suspicions by asking them to tell you what the universe is made of.

I used to feel this way about a lot of cosplay until I found a new way to think about it. There are two kinds of cosplayers: those that want to bring the video game to the real world and those that want to put themselves into the video game.

11. A Set of Cutlery

Damn, that kid really puts the Warrior in SJW.

I’d tell my young me I was trans and to transition asap. Pre-internet me had no clue what I even was.

When I was hired as a teacher, at orientation we were told that the administration doesn’t believe in mental health days and not to expect tenure if they find out we took one. They also said that if we were sick, we should come in. If it seems especially bad, we’ll be sent home.

NRA - Bump stocks are okay, but kneeling is seriously dangerous.

This idea has come and gone many times throughout the history of education. The best fit is somewhere in the middle, a common sense approach.