Players leaving the bench is what turns something minor like this into Malice at the Palace. You have to stop it.

“Mr. Belichick, do you have anything to say about your surrender at Appomatox?”

Update: feast your eyes on a collective of people who cannot handle a fucking joke because they’re too butthurt the Dodgers are about to choke again

If Josh Smith, Rajon Rondo, and Tony Allen ever share the floor together, they shouldn’t let children sit in the first 10 rows.

The classic “sorry u got butthurt.”

Somehow it never seems to work that. Gay men and men of color have no problem seeing their own oppression, but they’re still very quick to downplay or deny what happens to women. White women have no problem seeing their own oppression, but they’re still very quick to deny what happens to people of color. And people…

*trigger warning for mentions of rape, abuse transphobia & racism”

That’s a ridiculous thing to say. The entirety of these comments just shows how reactionary and caustic humanity is.

So, seriously, I know we’re 10 months in but how often do the rest of you have one of those “Oh right, Donald Fucking Trump is the President of the United States” moments? It happens to me less often now but still, you know, once or twice a week. The guy they used to make fun of in Bloom County, the guy Ali G screwed…

White people: Fighting to remove statues of minorities who offended their flag and anthem, yet also fighting to uphold the statues of men who fought to destroy the flag and anthem. Oh and child molester enablers. They want statues of child molester enablers to stick around too.

Tear it down and build a statute of a real Maryland hero:
That girl that crushed a can of beer on her head last weekend.

You know the world is upside down when Shannon Sharpe is providing more incisive political commentary than the entire editorial boards of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal.

“Arbitrate me, daddy.”

We truly don’t have to take a side. We don’t.

Look, I understand that you are upset about black people being murdered, but can we discuss it in a way that removes the black people and the murder? That would make me much more comfortable.

Shithead? Come on, Diana. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an inspiration to Sears shoppers across this great nation.

President Trump has stated on numerous occasions that his favorite color is blue, but new evidence has come to light that it might actually be yellow. Would you care to comment on that and why he’s spent more time tweeting and commenting about the NFL than addressing the humanitarian crisis affecting tens of thousands…

Old Gawker hated Reddit to the point of teaming up with an escort to extort a Conde Nast exec. New Gawker Gizmodo Media Group hates C.K. to the point of literally fabricating story after story even after they’ve been proven to be wrong each time.

Peter Theil soon will be.

Thank god we live in a nation where I can buy as many dildos as I want without the government stepping on my constitutional freedoms. ‘Murrica baby.