Had two wake me up in the middle of the night when they were crawling on my arm. Shake HARD, sprint to the light and find those hunting bastards before I rolled over on them. Squish!

yeah, job jumper. In my mind if you can’t boil down your work experience (unless you are a heavy hitter) to two pages- three at absolute most you are not summarizing enough.

Ugh, had an infestation of recluses at the first house I rented out of school. Sticky traps are the only thing that caught those suckers, bombs were like fertilizer for them.

Rodent nest.

And Greenfield Village is a good place to waste a second day.

Yeah, just throw a hundred in front of your actual salary and presto, changeo!

Kanye is looking for a partner!

We can only hope for this so much...

Wouldn’t it be great if that’s how it actually worked? Except we know now Bart is a raging a-hole sycophant and that’s not how this will play out.

To write you tickets and harass you in general. 

You facea isa soa punchablea!

Unions mostly are good. The UAW being a horrible union is the world’s worst kept secret.

You strike me as a stable genius. Have a porn star.

The Moreman one.

Oh, I thought you did it as an enema.

My friend Becky from the block died from snorting the marijuhanna at a party. She died instantly. Please don’t do marijuhanna. It is the most dangerous drug of all time. Please don’t wind up like Becky. 

Blaine MOTHER FUCKIN’ YO GABBA GABBA Gabbert!!!!

That was probably one of her jobs. Mail opener, food tester and birthing receptacle.

Puddin’ head to be exact.

Zoinks!