I actually switched to the lavender scented one, because I didn’t want to burn off my girl stuff.

yeah, adds a lil spice, like i said

I WISH I had room for a vanity table. I can’t wait until I do. I barely wear that much make up, but if I could sit and drink campari spritzers while I applied it........

Yasss. But get yourself a makeup table, a lighted mirror, robe and marabou slippers. next level.

Hedy Lamarr: beauty + brains

Sidenotes: Kara is super gorgeous. I really want to try that shade of lipstick.

this is the life i want to lead

What a coincidence! I get my barista to write “solstice greetings” on mine!

I’m pretty sure Jesus never saw a single snowflake in his life or knew that snow exists.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Meanwhile, at the new Muppets show:

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

What’s better than Tom Hardy, you ask? TOM HARDY AND A DOG.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

May those of us who have never sucked a dick or dove deep into a pussy cast the first stone.

(Sarah Koenig voice) But what would a woman who fux with boy shorts and pasties... be doing on Backpage?

No of course not. My point was that I could see how their publicists and lawyers could have talked him into settling quickly and for less than 50% and pushing the nanny rumour in the press to kill any rumours of his bisexuality.

“Claire, did you bring your kneepads?”