So, while it would almost certainly have been terrible anyways, I was cautiously on board with the concept when I thought they meant a bar where everyone in attendance would be Bumble members who were single/otherwise looking.

Maybe I’m rationalizing because I’ve always really liked him, but I tend to think you’re exactly right — you have to have fallen way too far down some rabbit hole to do something so obviously counter to your own interests. This had what, a 1% chance of working out in his favor? He was past procedural rationality.

NPD retail analyst Marshal Cohen, who says younger consumers associate Valentine’s with their parents [...]

Glad they kicked the lady off!

Oh, my late beloved Continental, why did you ever merge with United? (This was a legacy Continental route)

Really? I do, literally every day. Maybe it’s regional?

“Excuse me” should do it.

Omg, kibbe with ranch... I feel like that may just be my future favorite food that I’ll never, ever admit to eating.

To be fair, Lebanese do legitimately put fries in everything too.

Omg, funerals would be SO ripe for sponcon, given that they’re (usually) unexpected and really expensive. Everything from flowers and booze to “Saying goodbye to PeePaw in his Marciano slim trousers, Textured Motif cardigan and Grooved Logo Print sneakers, thanks @guess for taking him to the great beyond in style”

I have literally never heard anyone say COMpote (like... COMpost??), maybe it’s a regional variation but I’m on team Marissa here.

Um, the genders ARE reversed over the course of each episode... literally just as many women get critiqued on Naked Attraction (based on their labia/boobs/etc). Pause before outrage, bro.

You have to be close to the surf so the sand is packed down. Better make sure it’s a calm, warm sea tho.

Surely her argument is undermined further by the fact that her central anecdote — that incredible, humanizing portal into Bush Sr’s soul! — took place at a publicly-televised baseball game. No access needed!

Late to the party here, but as someone who is typically hyper-sensitive to criticism, I wanted to share a strategy which has helped me:

So, everything you’re saying is obviously true... but have you just met PETA?

I think I can speak on behalf of people on both sides of the political aisle and say we are sorry about your failed career.

Dibs on TV rights for The Melania Diaries.

I haven’t read the original Economist piece, so maybe they address this, but what would happen with early retirements (including the Big Retirement), which would obviously still happen?

Learning Whitaker is a cross fit bro is the least surprising thing I’ve heard all day.