Speaking of the power of Mike Huckabee: his son was accused of torturing a stray dog at a summer camp; but POOF—using Jesus-magic—Mike made any criminal charges disappear!! If only he could use his powers for good…

I imagine TayTay is her prison nick-name. After she gets stabby and turns the "Black wedding" into the "Red Wedding."

I can already see this wedding:

While we're on the subject, can we consider a movie re-make of the ATARI 2600 E.T. game? It will teach children a valuable lesson about falling into holes, how to get out if you fall in, and how to get away from a guy that is chasing you for some fucking reason. As a product tie-in, it will also give them something to…

This, everyone, from concept to erection, is the story of DollyWood.

The songs are borderline anti-comedy, with titles and artists like:

Speaking of restaurant bands, have you ever looked at the jukebox at a Waffle House? No fewer than 30 songs have the word "Waffle" in them. We get it Waffle House, you're edgy. Even Yoko Ono won't sing about waffles.

I wouldn't go so far as to say any, but the "horse-shoe" gap exists for certain. A plurality of human beings believe what they want, regardless of merit; however, we haven't seen a nominee from a major party express such open hatred for dissent and debate as this one. Once any discussion devolves into ad hominem…

A majority of Trump supporters are semi-sentient examples of the negative effects of cognitive dissonance. The ability to understand nuance is lost upon many of them. They demand simple right/wrong, good/bad, love/hate solutions to the majority of problems. That he is willing to over-promise, or has done so millions…

I imagine every girl is frozen with fear when he's around.

It's the ONLY defense, if you're a smug sociopath. His smile makes him look like a melting clown-goblin.

Not to be contrarian, internet, but this video makes him look more like Dr. Strange.

Yes. It's all in the Bible. You don't need simile, metaphor or critical thinking to understand the "Truth." However, you do need a handful of adderall to make it through that goddamn book of Numbers. A head injury—or two—helps you understand the rest.

Spoiler alert: The aliens have switched from windows-based space-computers to walkie-talkies and flaggers. Only short-wave radio racism can stop them now.

In defense of Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz is portrayed as a smug sociopath in every campaign advertisement, including his own.

Is lemonparty like a Mario Party? I'm totally googling this.

Please don't forget his debut appearance in Death Wish as "Freak #1."

Jeff Goldblum is a National Treasure—and not of the Nicholas Cage variety, which wasn't.

Judging from the Star Trek: The Next Generation coverage on BBC America, the Vulcans are currently leading in the polls—-but so much Federation Space remains uncounted.

I agree with you on the cultural issues, though we must remember that anyone referred to as "Giantsbane" is perhaps not used to advanced military formations/tactics.