I already feel like a tool without you reminding me with this damn post, Kristen!

Look how friendly the cop was to these cock suckers.

For the mere $3 million it costs, the engine will only last 31,000 miles. — Oh, okay.

Don’t quit your day job making those awful 50 shades movies.

Blippar, what is this?

I knew a guy that owned a Pontiac Solstice. He had no personality and was as bland as the Saturn Sky, yet he ended up with the girl I was into. Sigh...

Kids are a bunch of pussies nowadays. I used to get set on fire all the time. My boss telling me I’m a worthless piece of shit is just a Tuesday.

I’d hate to be his underwear after that.

The official new sign for all restrooms:

On a serious note, SF is a shitty city. It needs a New York-style transit system, a New York-style workers, and a New York-style attitude.

Queen’s King and Queens. She’s dating a real man now, Meeks!

Damien, this is all for you!

How come she’s not labeled a hero?

When they test-fire these missiles, is there a way to shoot it down or does South Korea and Japan just observe?

Something is very off-putting about that image.

How about not asking someone named Dr. Nerdlove and start treating it like it’s food?

Jesus.

Guys, you’re all correct!

This guy sucks major ass. “OMG you guys we have such a great show you guys.We’re gonna play some trivia and OMG the Roots you guys.” Fallon ratings!

If I had a partner like this, I will not be able to move on. Nope. This is it.