Jimmy Butler wants to be traded to a team that can afford a free agent like KAT. Jimmy Butler plays with KAT. Jimmy Butler is an idiot.

I half-expected him to say that he kept showing up to the OTHER American Airlines arena in Miami and that’s why he missed all of this.

“Listen I just bought a billion dollar franchise, did you expect me to look into the man who is CEO and president?”
I mean...Fucking probably!

“But these are the leaks I really look forward to” - Darren Rovell

In this instance, a source is to a flack what a jersey ad is to a comprehensive partnership designed to positively impact the community.

You get this on the evening news too. They report on an “exciting new product/service/event” in the area and they are clearly just reading a press release.

Giving the Orioles a 4-0 lead!

Let me guess: the fucking Patriots are going to get him for a song.

It took him that long to realize he was on the Bills? 

1 if by run, pick 6 if by air.

yeah, that’s basically what I believe, just not what I chose to focus on here.

I’ll bet a significant amount of money that he files a grievance and gets rehired, with back pay.

Don’t forget

Nah dude. They’re totally not mad about getting cancelled at ESPN. They’re laughing about it. With all of these funny funny jokes. Like, do you even get satire? 

Might as well preempt these before the Stoolie brigade descends upon this article.

This is the best thing has happened to baseball in years.

Unwritten rules and their enforcers can go to hell, and I don’t think he should’ve been ejected, but that bat flip was a bit much.

Meh.

James Harden has requested two shots for a moving screen violation.