Actually, they're here, interrupted in an intervention for John Frusciante. Keidis has a wack mustache and he's wearing a shirt.

Now that would be awesome. Johnny's girl crying silently by the fire as Bohdi slides it deep in Johnny's willing bottom; everybody smiling and winking during the bank heists; Gary Busey busting open the door and shouting, "Oh, damn!" at what he finds.

Thank you for this fantastic review. It's the take-down I wanted to hear; god damn these "filmmakers" all to hell.

And by the same token, Spike Lee's punks in Summer of Sam are laughably anachronistic, with their perfect mohawks and Jane Child nose-to-earring chains.

Who's isn't!?

So now I can skip past the 2.5 hours of inane Tarantino blather and get right to the overblown gun violence?

Yeah, we know which part of Lifeforce you're looking at, buddy.

Remember when a movie was released, all you had to do was get there quick and you could rent it for $4?

Oh, bro, it gets straight-up Scooby Doo in the third act. They break into an abandoned hospital, or something, that has a perfectly clean pool in the basement, then gather up a bunch of TVs and other electronics with a plan to lure the monster into the pool and then electrocute it.

Done anything to advance the idea pushed out in the first five minutes.

The Babadook was great fun until the big reveal, and then it just made me sad. Sad for that family, and sad for me, because I was really enjoying the idea of the Babadook being a real monster. I'm over the whole "monster as manifestation of mental illness" trope.

"Still good, which is a testament to how well it was made . . ."

Good point.

It's not the best movie. It's the best action, and the most exciting comeback, and the freshest visuals, but the plot just isn't there, and the performances (especially Hardy's) are lacking.

I don't know what you're smoking, but It Follows was a giant turd. Great idea, sure, but the director blows it in the first ten minutes, and the script only gets dumber, and dumber, and dumber from there. By the time they're throwing TVs at the monster and covering it with a sheet I was laughing out loud. It's…

I watched Trainwreck, it's sixteen hours long. Before the intermission.

That's not true at all. You're never too old to party balls and act like an idiot.

Does she play another part?

Plus the whole thing is contrived as shit. I don't believe them as these characters, or that these characters could even exist, or if they did that they would do these things. It's just one "wink" too many for me to get into.

They should have made her the cool aunt.