I had a lot of regulars at a Frozen Yogurt shop where I worked when I was 18. There was this one man who came in often, by himself or with his family. Whenever he’d come in with his son, who was maybe 5, his son would comment on my owl necklace that I wore nearly every day that year.

Yes! Things I have learnt while teaching The Great Gatsby to American undergrads:

I am so glad it isn’t just me. I gained so many followers from a project I was doing for fun. It’s called Texts From Your Existentialist. I thought it was ridiculous that for someone who just gained nearly 100k followers, I ought to keep churning this shit out, regardless of whether it was as good as my earlier posts…

I was 13 and lost my virginity to a 17 year old. I kept doing shit with dudes thinking it’s a normal thing to do when you’re 13.

Okay, as someone who’s had her spell with coke and alchy, whenever I watch Jimmy Fallon, I always get the vibe that he’s coked up. Like, his mannerisms and the way he talks and acts are totally indicative of this.

i had a cat who would get lost if she couldn’t see the house. one day she didn’t come home. we moved away but came back to visit and saw her.

Yeah, no... I had a friend drunk cut my bangs a few years ago and never went back to being bangless. They actually accentuate my eyes, which I think rule a lot harder than my forehead does...and my forehead tends to stand out more when I’m bangless, and I don’t dig it.

good question!

Why is it OK for you to decide for all women how it’s acceptable for them to style their hair?

New plan:

Why does Kanye dress Kim like a teenager that made alterations to her clothes in her room in the middle of the night to look more “nouvelle chic”? Honestly, I made a look super similar to that when I was 17, had nothing to wear, and I couldn’t be caught dead walking down Ventura Blvd. in jeans and a t-shirt without…

It’s like the top is from a trash compactor bag (if they still make those). The skirt looks like Hefty For Leaves. (with a really long twist tie)

FUCKING DEAD BOB DURST BUNNY EYES

It’s okay. Your family and friends are but a phone call away if you suddenly realise you don’t know something “obvious” (we all have to learn!).

All you need to live alone: confidence, a bit of a sense of adventure, a realization that no matter how fucked everything seems nothing is actually fucked, self-forgiveness, enough money for rent and ramen, and a firm understanding that the vertigo you’re feeling is because you’re on an upward trajectory. You’ll be…

This is like the first time the pet looks like the celebrity.

My mom told me that my father used to call that kind of sensation, “music that makes your nipples hard.”

I mean, it’s better than her NOT being a human being with actual issues, but yes, you’re right.

It’s been done.

Don’t laugh at the stock photo of that child. My own daughter was recently diagnosed with shutterstock. She has watermarks all over her face and body, and she refuses to go outdoors.