if they’re looking for candidates, i know a guy who has a baseball background as a player and a business background as an exec for a video game company. he’s also got a real handle on social media and can probably procure state funding like a badass.

Lebowski, Fargo, No Country, Raisimg Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, Barton Fink, O Brother.

I gotta come back here for one more thing:

They play in a division with 3 incompetently-run franchises. They feast every fucking year.

Mail me what you smoking! 

And the only thing that can prevent another Patriots Super Bowl victory? This man:

$215/hr is ‘reasonable’?

Good. Let’s get this sorted early.

Also new people, is a hotdog a sammich?

I’m pretty stoked my letter made it in this time.

Today on the surreal public affairs program The View, Pamela Anderson, most recently an outspoken supporter of Julian Assange and a woman whose politics are actually quite good,

I never tip the washroom attendant, if only because I never agreed to his presence and honestly would be more comfortable if there were no washroom attendant. Point me to a washroom without an attendant, instead. I will tip you out if you point me to a washroom without an attendant.

Want to be certain that you will never get a free drink while also ensuring that you will be last to get noticed when it gets busy? Just say these 6 little words:

“These guys are going to work like we do every day and all they want to feel respect and appreciation, and when you go to work and you don’t feel either one of those, you get depressed...” Gerard said about the NYPD.

Yes, but clearly the worst Goose Island is still several cuts above whatever Bud label you find to be the least bad.

And yet, when asked, Trump claimed that he was still six inches taller than Barron.

You’re right, they are not equivalent. In a majority of states in the US, weed is considered much WORSE than assault rifles, as the assault rifles are legal, while the weed is not.

I had to remind patients of this whenever I filled out the forms for them. Especially once Jeff Sessions became the AG and the Obama era policy of ignoring it went away. Also, even if you are in a state where it is legal, if you are on federal land (National Park, federal courthouse, etc), you could be arrested for…

“we failed to resolve [the incident] in a way that made either side feel supported,”

Just imagine what the company’s numbers would look like if its locations were open Sundays.