He’d never take the job. The stadium doesn’t have real grass.

They should hire Hayden Fox away from their in-state rival. 

Team eat the shell. Combo of flavor, laziness, and I could always use extra fiber.

When asked why he spit on the nurse Jones responded that he thought he heard her ask him to “Make it rain.”

Aqib: when you’ve turned an Oakland Raider into a victim to sympathize with it might be time to examine your life choices.

In the last picture you can see him checking his phone to see if he has enough battery left to throw it.

Asked if Tyrod Taylor would be their quarterback next year the Bills responded saying “We really love that guy. No, Romo.”

Firstly I want to say that I’m sorry that you’re going through this pain. It must be very hard. I’ve struggled with depression, but I’m not going to pretend I know exactly what you’re going through.

The problem with the analogy is that if a tree dies it likely has little negative effect on the trees around it. When…

The new Logan does it right:

That’s Ted “Wanker” Lasso to you buddy!

As a Gators fan: thanks for thinking we’ll hang with them past the opening kickoff.

Marky Mark: I’m going to crack this case like Bill Belichick cracks open opposing defenses.

So what efforts will Gawker Gizmodo be taking to diversify the writers they have on staff to provide a more diverse set of viewpoints.

I’ve always gone with the method of checking the ingredients. For the good stuff it always starts with water, wheat, soybeans. For the crappy stuff it’s usually something like hydrolized soy protein and corn syrup.

You know me.

He was penalized for playing the wrong sport. There is no 2nd base in football.

Hmm.

Interesting.

When PETA (who is known for saying outlandishly absurd things) is the one who sounds the most sensible in a discussion, that’s a sign you should listen.

You forgot to throw a “in the Big Apple” in there.