I don’t see why we don’t use the European chip+ PIN model. Seems like it would be the best of both worlds re: security.

Don’t worry, ESPN had this as the #2 play of the night behind a goal scored by a washed up English Premier player in his first game in a 3rd rate sports league (not that I’m bitter) (Fuck you, ESPN).

My family was in Germany during the war and their strategy of keeping their heads down and hoping it would pass didn’t work. By 1945 most of the homes and the family business had been bombed into the ground and most of the men had died or disappeared in Russia.

Huh? Like I don’t care about ASMR either, but how is someone hurting me by liking it themselves?

he gave a performance that will go down in the quickbooks.

“this is a story about how a woman’s suffering is secondary to the self-actualization of the male protagonist”

“How hard is it to spray on some Aquanet and scream about Satan?”

The complete list of times when it’s appropriate for a white person to use the N-Word:

...so I see what you’re saying but can I say the N-word if-

Dear Disney,

Ahem, that’s DR. Narwhales Mating to you. She didn’t go to 6 years of Mammal Humping School of nothing.

Dr. Narwhals Mating v. Mahogany Loggins will also be a sad matchup.

Narwhales. Sharpie.

I think the whole point is to make fun of art exhibits that do exactly this sort of thing. It’s creative. As someone who rolls his eyes at a lot of contemporary art, an exhibit that aims at critiquing the consumers of that contemporary art who show such desperate willingness to believe that a whole mess of shoes…

**Scene opens to a smoky bar**

Regardless of the feedback that comes from this, Please Hammer Museum, don’t Hurt ‘Em!

“Fuck, I dropped my socks.”

It’s like when you realize that Iceman made some valid points.

It is really bumming me out that 80s jocks turned out to be right about nerds and slobs.

I feel you. I once said “There is no fucking way they can make a Speed 2. It just wouldn’t make sense! How would it even make sense?”