“I know that. What makes you think I don’t know... You said that. Why would you say that... He never said that. I know he did say it. Don’t you think I know that...”

Well, since no one else has posted it yet:

I’m starting to think Giuliani’s baldness is a result of splitting hairs.

But shit only has 4 letters....

this is basically what Billy Martin did to Mickey Mantle, just faster

I didn't realize that a $2 air freshener had such loaded implications

The driver looked like he was gonna go back for the car, but saw stern Grandma and decided it wasn't worth it. 

We need to understand that the Bill of Rights isn’t some steadfast monolith which dispenses freedom to all around, it is an intruder alarm to guard freedom— a string of cans lain at the perimeter meant to clang and rattle and make the people aware when someone attempts to incur tyranny against liberty.

“How do I fix an awkward situation between grandma and the server?”

The good news is, they won’t be there for long after hatching. They’ll die from tetanus pretty quickly

This seems... unwise?

“I’m a Bills fan”

join the lottery for future Hardrocks.

I hear he’s been getting recognized TOO much lately. 

Bryant Gumbel: You got the ball, third-and-12 at your own 26, 4:24 left in the second quarter. Do you remember what happened?

Nobody you have ever met will go to space.

What a mess. I feel bad for the Algodoneros player who got cotton the middle of this whole thing.

It’s that it’s overcast, and as you say, that she has a kind of disapproving look on her face that gives it what we over here are led to think is classically British. I was going to guess by the pampas-type grass and what appear to be Italian cypresses, and a fairly good-sized mountain range, that it was probably…

That’s a lada paper