I am uplifted.

Judy, would you come back here for a second?

I read like five of these goddamn books before realizing that they were awful bodice-rippers for gay men.

Stallone in "Creed"

Got olives here…hummus, veggies…potatoes will be ready presently…shrimp…someone's making me a martini…yeah my girlfriends parents are alright.

I hope you get run over by a truck!

Oh, I'm with you. Ironically it is my intense love of potatoes that has put me in this unenviable position.

I'd riot.

Oh, you son of a bitch.

I'm in charge of the goddamn potatoes. Do I have to get treated like this just 'cause I'm Irish?

Thankful for my new job. Also, puppies are cool.

The Breeders - Safari
Sebadoh - New Worship
Rolling Stones - Connection
Naked Raygun - Treason
Green Day - I Was There

I'm going to drink martinis and watch football and try to avoid the next door neighbor of my girlfriend's parents. She's a tremendous asshole. Or maybe I won't bother. I don't know. Look, did I mention the martinis? As long as there are martinis.

It's sort of like a goatse fractal.

This is like a nesting doll of assholes.

They hate albums!

*clears throat

I'll have none of Lord Redwyne's grape juice, thank you.

I'm still waiting patiently for the fermented mare's milk.

I never would have guessed that people who gravitate towards entertainments that depict mindless swarms of slow witted, cannibalistic humanoids would somehow represent the Trump demographic.