“He can’t care and he won’t work and he never tells the truth.” Somebody etch this in stone.

Louisiana Amendment 2 passed through an extremely conservative state legislature with bipartisan support but our dipshit AG is still against it. It’s such an obviously good and legitimately “American” thing to require unanimous jury verdicts, especially where the sentence can be life in prison (seriously there are…

Drew Brees is the flag football coach for the children of an acquaintance of mine. This guy has more money than God and no reason to bullshit. He says Drew Brees is the “real deal”. I asked him what he meant, and he said Brees is “pure as the driven snow.” Apparently he is just almost annoyingly wholesome under any…

I don’t know that hearing was pretty long if he doesn’t get back to his cabbage patch in time he’ll start to dry up.

I’m more concerned about his cabbage-patch-like features.

“Are you a relative newcomer to the outdoors with a heretofore sentient lifestyle?”

Drew I have lived in the deep south for 23 years and every summer I fucking hate it. And everyone I know down here does too. I have soaked my own wallet in my sweat. And then it rains, and instead of bringing some kind of refreshment, instead it just gets HOTTER and WETTER. It’s like you’re in the reptile exhibit at…

Looks an awful lot like this event at the Louisiana State Penitentiary annual rodeo. Yes, those are prisoners. Yes, they did volunteer to do this. Yes, it is still deeply horrible on some level. I went once and won’t be going back.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s a lot of white people (like me) were told that racism was bad because it made you prejudiced against people before you knew them. Don’t generalize. Get to know someone before you judge. The whole part about the centuries of imbalanced racial and power dynamics and the sheer awfulness of…

Top reason for no time-traveling ghosts is that they could go back in time and haunt themselves, which they inevitably would, because as we all know ghosts are here to linger over missed chances and the life they wish they still had.

In About Time, when the main character and his dad travel back in time, one last time, to when he was a little kid and his dad was a young man, it completely wrecked me for about thirty minutes. I ugly cried in front of my wife.

How in the fuck do you leave out pinto bean? The foundation of delicious New Mexican and Tex Mex food? How?!

Ace Ventura 2, almost entirely by virtue of the robot rhino human birthing scene, is a superior film to the original Ace Ventura.

I’m a middle class white guy in the south and most of my middle class white guy friends and colleagues just are not as freaked out about the general state of everything as I am, so I just wanted to thank you all for making me feel not so alone in freaking the fuck out and feeling lost and sad all the time.

The whole point of playing sports to me was the one or two moments in a game where your body just acted and did exactly what it should without your ever having to think about. I would be so nervous before the game that I made myself sick, but if I got a couple of those sweet zen moments and had a decent game I never…

The shooter has already been released from custody.

Well here’s the shooter so try again.

If my neighbor did it, it would not bother me. Treat others as you would like to be treated. If I would not care, and there is no rule against it, I see no problem.