The Penguins literally smashed the ice-skating surface into large, razor-sharp shards and used the shards to decapitate the Ottawa Senators’ players who then literally glided around headless on uneven, blood-soaked ice for multiple periods. Not sure how Ottawa comes back from this without the assistance of a voodoo…

This is precisely why I elected *not* to compete in the Rio Olympics.

These finals better fucking deliver. Like it needs to end with one of the teams draining a three to win it at the buzzer in game 7 (which I believe is scheduled for sometime in August)

I think I was pretty wrong about the Spurs and they were much more ready for the Dubs than I thought. I think they’ve played 3 or 4 games against each other when both teams were relatively healthy and the Spurs have had a big lead in each of those games.

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

BTW, before the Aceman became a right wing nut and Dr. Drew became a total quack, 90's Loveline used to play this song all the time. 90's Loveline on the radio got me through many a lonely teenage night.

He’s everything Jameis wants
He’s everything Jameis needs
He’s everything inside of Jameis
That Jameis wishes Jameis could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to Jameis
And you don’t know why

So let’s name it. A war like that would be pretty lame so my suggestion is “Lame Wars.”

So let’s name it. A war like that would be pretty lame so my suggestion is “Lame Wars.”

Don’t joke. My great uncle was seared to perfection in the Broiler Wars of the 1950s.

Don’t joke. My great uncle was seared to perfection in the Broiler Wars of the 1950s.

he doesn’t need probation or counseling, he needs a doctor - dude was clearly having a stroke.

Guaranteed to have a better finish than the Chargers this year.

What is it about San Diego that makes people want to jack off in public?

I had a friend like that, but there was a twist: she stopped being my friend to marry a guy she met on Craigslist.

Trump is the dumbest, loudest teen at the high school who everyone either can’t stand or pretends to like because his rich dad lets kids drink beer at his house.

(best man comes off the bench, leading to questions of why the couple had a bench in their bedroom)

I don’t know you and have never heard o fyou so please don’t speak for me.

You’re good

What do you think is supposed to be funny about withholding a source? This is about ethics

What difference does that make I’m looking for responsible journalism

I hope the Celtics trade him to Toronto.