This is me. Simmons as joe-fan was entertaining and at times insightful. Simmons as insider-pretending-he-belongs-with-world-class-athletes is unbearable.

It's like 99% can-opening.

That's what she said.

He is also being charged with putting 6 pieces of toxic trash on an ice rink for the better part of a whole season.

Things used to be better than they are now. People now are the problem, whereas before, people were good.

brutally beating a child for crying for a pie does seem like good parenting.

Your dad is a heap of shit, then.

I did the exact same thing once at The Cheesecake Factory. You should have seen the look on that god damn kid's face when I bought up all the cheesecakes in the place. The resulting Chapter 7 bankruptcy was so worth it

Love reading all the 20 year olds' opinions in here. Thanks for chiming in, Brayden.

"That's a Bryce Harper question bro"

Worst case scenario he's a plus defender who can run fast breaks and rebound really well. There will always be a place for players like that in the league. If he's on the right team the worst version of Wiggins is still a winning player.

Nowhere. You read this nowhere before. You're a right dunderhead if you think Chris Bosh is either injury-prone or a liability on defense.

I trusted that review. They are 100% wrong.

Don't forget...does things ironically, has a nihilist attitude toward everything (even though they haven't lived long enough or had enough experiences to be jaded and bored), and mocks others for having passion and interests in life.

I remember all the Mickey Mantle comparisons, and then somebody had the bright idea to throw him a slider or something and the dream was over...

In Milwaukee it's the same with the ball and glove logo.

That dunk was Lincestuous!

"This is offering up the dim, colorless notion that to have had ideas inflected by race, you must be overcome by some encompassing aura of racist determinism, that you could never find it in your big white heart to say some shit about Johnny Manziel, who is a fantastic shithead, on account of his whiteness."

So.much.manufactured.angst. My ovaries can't take it. I was a misunderstood, hormonal teenager girl once, and I had NOTHIN on these frustrated artist types. They're like a male caricature of Greta Garbo... "I vant to be uh-LONE"...