This raises a lot of important questions, but perhaps the most important question of all: what the hell is going on with LeBron’s shorts in that picture and why are they all sucked up in between his meaty ass cheeks? Does he prefer to wear them that way??

Give the kid a break, he learned how to play defense from James Harden.

[cums]

Bullshit, I could punt that kid at least 15, maybe 20 yards.

You can tell the little girl’s Danish, because couldn’t even hit a fucking elephant!

That is a very good bear.

And to think, reporting on bathing with bears is how this whole mess started. Well played.

It’s always good when a Belt gets loose for 69.

He’s like the kid who used to show up at the schoolyard in authentic Jordans and Gary Payton jersey, yet as soon as you passed it to him, he dribbled off his foot.

Headline: Bald Eagle Pummels Canadian Goose After All

[reads complaint]

And for the love of god, this isn’t rape. Shady, yes. Shitty, yes. Rape, no. Fuck no. Don’t be a fucking idiot. What’s next? We’re going to call it rape if you have sex with your boyfriend and later he breaks up with you but you thought you’d be together forever so it’s a false premise? Get outta here.

He’s 16, she’s 15, and by all accounts it was consensual.

Shit, this breaks my heart.

I can confirm, I was at the Baylor medical center last night and there was no rape.

This take is so hot, even Skip Bayless is jealous.

*files copyright infringement*

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

Did anyone listen to the This American Life recently with a woman describing her life after her genitals were mutilated in childhood? It’s a devastating piece but just so well done. She talks about confronting her mother who had the procedure done to her daughter even though she had also gone through it. It’s so…

There should never be an “Escalator Temporarily Out of Order” sign. Just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs: Sorry for the Covenience.”