To be fair, the foul on the breakaway didn’t DOGSO because Kepa had the long ball covered. But also to be fair, Cardiff had an obvious penalty denied in the first half and a borderline but probable penalty shout in the second. Though also also to be fair, Chelsea should’ve had a penalty in the first half.

♬ Price/Ali - hangry is he - Ali a boxah
That physique! How can I speak? Weak at the knee...
Well get on out in that square
Adjust your belt and prepare
To say “did that guy just bite me there?” at Price/Ali! ♬

Warriors Investigators Ask To Whom Bell Tolls

a simple trade request in private.

Sidoo, Sidoo, Sidoo, Sidoo 

City Slickers was definitely my favorite Crystal Palance matchup.

Watching a football team is 3 hours once a week. Baseball is three hours 5-6 times a week.

Would you say it was a plethora of weeks?

We are the ones who picked oat and honey cafe mix as the best cereal a few years ago.

the club also lost its greatest player ever in Cristiano Ronaldo

“Do you know how many nights he cried when he lost this year? Do you know how many times I had to put him to bed crying?”

I feel like the phrase “plot hole” get overused. I realize this is a bit like screaming about Alanis Morisette’s definition of irony, but “plot hole” doesn’t mean “literally any question I have that isn’t perfectly answered to my satisfaction.” It means a logical contradiction or gap in the story. So, if Superman dies…

I’m sure he’s very embarazada

Fish belly white? Ah, someone else who read Maniac McGee.

On Christmas they were tied for fifth with the Blazers, so we’re not talking about it because it isn’t true. The Kings were 7th with the Clippers at 4th, and both Rockets and Jazz were outside of the playoff picture.

They’re really defensive over it too. It was a bad take that required you to ignore a) the Pelicans swept the Blazers in the playoffs LAST YEAR, b) the Laker young dudes are overrated like most LA and NY players tend to be, and c) nobody likes being extorted. 

Awesome players play for repugnant clubs sometimes. I like about half of the City roster and City can get fucked in the same manner PSG can and did.

Billy yesterday: “Thankfully the soccer gods did not allow the devil that is VAR to ruin such an enormously important moment of beauty through the pedantic application of the rules in a way that would’ve completely gone against the spirit of the sport.”

I’ve seen more headlines here about Bill Simmons and Barstool than specific sports stories.