The only time you ever hear somebody use “Browns” and “Super Bowl” in the same sentence is when they are talking about taking a poop.

You can just substitute “Johnny Manziel” for “Elagabalus” and it works. Example from Wikipedia:

“We’ll watch the tape and discuss that”

I mean, are we even sure McCown got hurt last night? That video could be old.

Drew Magary, no talent hack telling one of the all-time greats to fuck off.

Carolina is, however, a great place for Cousins to have a great time.

White guy reporting in. Cam Newton is great. I love to see someone having fun.

Tony Romo is Dallas’ best shot? I beg to differ!

Indeed. And look on the bright side; There will be discounted Seahawks gear on sale at Goodwill stores throughout the greater Seattle area.

I said it over on Gawker, but it bears repeating: No religion has a monopoly on terrorism. Jews implemented it in Israel. Catholics developed most of the modern techniques employed today. Conservative Christians have carried it out here in the US. Atheists, Hindus, Buddhists and cults all around the world have…

Marking the first time in history it was safer inside the soccer stadium.

Jerry Sandusky: Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!

How are the Kardashians not boring? They just sit around and almost have conversations.

“Obnoxious and despicable are better than boring.”

It's funny because children were raped.

Judging by the bio, Hardy has animosity toward anything with a period.

Does Kobe even know the difference between a triangle and a square? He doesn’t care for any side but his own.

“First of all, any negative talk about J.T. Barrett is that crap that comes from the south end of a north-facing male bovine. I am old enough not to give much for political correctness.”

young, talented quarterback

Uncle: I can’t believe he said that.