Is there anything ESPN loves more than ESPN/athlete beef? Derek Carr just gave them three free days’ worth of programming because he inexplicably views First Take as a serious program and not an active dumpster fire.

That is correct. Smart people only tailgate Jesus 4 a mile or two, not for life.

This is pretty douchey, but it really is pretty amazing to see just how angry people behind you get if you simply obey the law and ACTUALLY STOP at a stop sign. I’m not even talking the drivers-ed “3-second stop.” I’m talking about getting the car down to zero mph for less than a second. Motherf*ckers lose their minds.

Half the reason I pass people is to reach that lovely motorist oasis.

YES. My all-time favorite driver, the douchebag who goes the speed limit in the passing lane. Yo, Warren G, you’re not a regulator. If you wanna do some bullshit like that, go join the State Farm Safety Patrol.

My basic takeaway from this is Russell Brand is a lazy piece of sh*t who didn’t really want children, except as an accessory and inspiration for jokes. You have to be borderline-brain-dead if you can’t “figure out” how to change a diaper. At most, it’s a four-step process.

That’s cool — when’s he gonna apologize for that wack-ass jacket and 1987 tie?

And unlike white sororities and fraternities, joining a black Greek-letter organization is not just a college activity, you belong for life.

I put a 13-minute version of this song on the jukebox last night and the bartender was quite displeased.

“It’s all made-up garbage.”

You gotta be reeeeeal bored on Christmas vacation to start beef over seven-year-old YouTube clips. Can’t wait for the dissertation on the first 10 minutes of Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious.”

I fully support placing this lady in a rocket and sending it deep into space. #WhatTheDealNASA #CanOx

I wouldn’t place much faith in expecting reasonable behavior. The characters on this show have gone through exactly one on-screen winter in nine seasons. I’m convinced the main reason is that nearly every single walker would freeze solid and they would absolutely cease to be a threat. Which would be fine if this was TW…

It was after the third hopelessly oblique reference to this inter-community squabble that I turned to my wife and exclaimed “THIS MYSTERY IS DUMB.”

I lived in southern Delaware for a few years in the mid-2000s, and our local bagel shop served Taylor ham on a French toast bagel sprinkled with just a touch of powdered sugar. Holy shit. So good.

Even though it rarely applies to any real-life situation, I’m nearly 100% sure I’ve quoted DMX’s line from this movie more than any other: “F*ck a book! You better start thinkin’ about your seed, ‘cause shorty can’t eat no books.” 

Agreed. It takes me out of the show to see Screamin’ A. Smith giving hot takes on Luke Cage’s 40 time. I watch stuff like Luke Cage to GET AWAY from that type of B.S.

Wow. That was a little over the top, especially considering.... https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/8xep35/to-the-producers-of-marvels-luke-cage-enough-with-the-jafaikans

I feel like Theo Rossi’s terrible acting this season is infecting Alfre Woodard. She nailed the part of politician-slowly-being-corrupted last season, and it’s just not there thus far in S2.

I presume the selections will consist of the Left Behind series and then just a bunch of Kirk Cameron movies.