I think you’re framing this irresponsibly. It’s more like he got the job, was like hey something’s up, talked to the correct authorities and got the company to fix it, and now that it’s obviously awkward he’s going to go get a new job. 

the squeak is part of the Art™

“Then we have a wagon full of phones that I’m paying an old German man to carry around the city along our escape route. The police will see solid red. We can walk right down the street in broad daylight.”

Two factor hoonthentication.

I work in software and I’m already coming up with use cases where I can see the necessity to floor it while traveling at under 19 mph.

Adam Sandler is a character Daniel Day-Lewis has been playing for nearly 30 years.

All the olds that live in suburbia and exurbia are walking/driving death traps as they age in place in their big houses where nothing is walkable and there is no transit. Its already a major issue and its only going to get worse. 

(Camry freezes midair)

How’d he go 27 hours without playing Lacrosse? 

“It proves men like him are more willing to perpetuate the fantastic narrative of negro neighborhoods needing more role models and briefcase-carriers”

Michael, I'm also a product of the Palmetto State, albeit not from Hartsville. Every time you tell your story, I'm struck by how much your success seemed to mean to your community. It really is an incredible story.

I was searching for them for all that time! 8 different guys from Uzbekistan were trying to find it for me! And just a few weeks earlier one guy who was reeding my Drive2 page managed to buy one for me! So next year Damas is going to see the world again.

“Mitya Sokolov” is a weird way to spell “David Tracy.”

And after that tweetstorm, it is probably a very necessary grudge that has expanded to include Picoult and Weiner as well.

She didn’t join the committee to prevent anyone from being exposed to it, she joined the committee because she didn’t think that Dessen’s work, which was apparently under consideration, was up to the standards of what the program was supposed to be. How is that an issue that she had a particularly strong opinion about…

And tea! Tea with non-dairy milk is usually gross.

Shutting down the only dedicated politics website in your portfolio right before the 2020 election, one of the most consequential of our lifetime, kicks into high gear. Essentially shutting down the second-most highly trafficked website in your portfolio because one out of every twenty five posts rankles you. I’m not…

If you find out where bored lawyers are making funny existentialist and dick jokes now wouldja let us know please, gracias

Agreed. Probably has to do with all the fives in her name. 

She strikes me as the type of person that many in the Splinterverse will roll their eyes at, but if those same people knew her personally would instead be like, “Oh Valerie? She’s awesome. Fucking love Valerie.”