“Great Moments in Poop History” eventually just became “Long, Boring & Fake Stories About Pooping”

I feel like “Also you’re a cunt” is this dudes e-mail signature.

The offensive line statistically played worse than Peterman.

“Sean, you know what tomorrow is, right?”

Lefkoe: Alright, now we’ll bring on former Rams coach Jeff Fisher, thanks for coming on. First question for Jeff: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

“Celebrating a touchdown” is the best euphemism for masturbating I’ve heard in a while. 

I feel like “fell off his stool” is selling it short. More like “launched off the stool with sheer joy.”

No mention of Georgia State basketball coach Ron Hunter, who tore his Achilles celebrating in 2016. And then fell off his stool during the NCAA Tournament?

“the SEC is too liberal" is a hell of a take there Hugh 

The catcher is all of us.

Ask not for whom Le’Veon Bell toils. 

Great!

Best Bachelor party I’ve ever been to was an all-day smoking class that taught us how to smoke an entire pig: ribs, shoulder, sausages, plus chicken and sides. You tended the fire and drank all day, then ate like kings as everything came off the smoker throughout the day before passing out at 8:30 PM thanks to a full…

“And the dude who organized it still sent me a fucking BILL for the group’s strip club tab.”

I am SHOOK. “If you see those shoes out in the wild, you’re about to have a stroller run over your foot.” 

OMG YOU ARE SERIOUS DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

But what of the hideous 330 dollar pig?

I don’t think all of the items featured were made using only the highest quality silk. Plus I highly doubt they are handcrafted like Chanel products, for example.  They are made in Chinese factories like other pieces of clothing that cost 10 times less. On top of that the designs are just tacky. The main reason for the…

So this must be the fashion version of justifying the Alex Smith contract.

Mrs. Lucielle Bluth has rightfully dismissed the entire line as a cheap and tawdry Chanel/St. John knock-off.