Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

You’re on a sports website giving me shit for making a comment about sports.

I applaud this woman for standing up against the tryanny of the Texas state legislature, which is rapidly doing its best to out-Mississippi Mississippi’s in turning their state into a right-wing “paradise” of teen pregnancy, back alley abortions, poverty, and terrified non-white communities.

The NFL is such a fucking dumpster fire at this point. Every single day one of their players beats up a woman, or rapes someone, or drives drunk. As a football fan it makes me sad.

I guess he thought the judge was some sort of sap.

It’s not an unpopular opinion. It’s a ridiculous oversimplification.

No. People can’t not do illegal drugs. And having an unpopular opinion doesn’t automatically make you some ultra-rational speaker of plain truths. Sometimes opinions are unpopular because their fucking stupid, and holding them just makes you a naive idiot. 

I’ve met one! That about describes them perfectly. I’d rather deal with a rattler any day, Copperheads are nasty buggers! Most rattles are happy if you just mind your business, but yeah a Copperhead wants you OUT!

Unstable? We have Donald Trump as President and already have nuked one country and invaded countless others without UN approval.

You say Cute snake w/bunny ears.. all i see is...

Gorgeous!

Also every time I’m shown someone’s adorable pet snake, I think of the husband of a friend who is a huge reptile nut. Obviously very loving of the animals, well-researched enclosures and food, etc.

Me, watching him feed them: “Man, those guys are the luckiest snakes ever.”
Him: “Right? If only they cared.”
Me:…

Keeping a snake as a pet is like keeping a dog or a cat, only minus the companionship, intelligence, affection and joy.

Couldn’t any gangbanger make the same claim? “The murderous, terrifying persona I use on the streets is all an act, it couldn’t be further from my true nature or my personality. I am a loving teddybear on my own time, but my day job representing MS-13 is performance art, and ‘Trigger Mike’ is just a character I play.”

Anything else I can do to help United as a passenger? Maybe break out my torque wrench and tighten those lugs on the fuselage before I board?

“Hitler’s been doing a lot of great things lately and getting a lot more recognition for it.”

Apparently we are having a war on Easter in England because Cadburys put the word Easter on the back of some of their eggs and not the front!! ‘Chocolate eggs? What is this travesty?!’ Sadly, I kid you not.

Well, it would be chometz if he actually rose, but he’s turning into the stale, flavorless cracker that the GOP absolutely loves.

What’s funny is that I was reminded recently that, Lincoln having been shot on Good Friday in Ford’s Theatre, there were a good amount of preachers that Easter Sunday with sermons going on about Lincoln being killed in a house of sin instead of being at church where he supposedly belonged.

Hey, they don’t call matzah “the bread of affliction” for nothin’. That’s why Jews remind ourselves in multiple holidays that we have be oppressed multiple times and it can happen again. And American Christians think they’re oppressed because someone at Starbucks says “Happy Holidays”.